You can teach a parrot a new trick but you will never be its friend.

Learn to love House music because that's what you're getting. Do not suggest putting Chas & Dave on.

Arabic food is infinitely more varied & flavourful than Kebabs and Falafels.

However snide about it folks elsewhere in the world may be, you can't fail to be impressed by what Dubai has achieved and created. Ethos: If you can, do.

A Lunar exclipse is even more dramatic viewed from the top of a massive dune in the actual desert.

Oranamin C = Hangover cure.

Sheikh Zayed Road – the city's aorta, is 12 lanes of comedy chaos. Do not expect indication, signage or use of rearview mirrors.

If you fall asleep in the Karaoke bar, it's time to go home. If you are saluted on exiting said Karaoke bar, you did a good job.

Your hair is not falling out because of stress, it's salinated water.

Many Lebanese popstars are a fusion of Kim Kardashian and Sly Stallone's mum.

The handheld-jets in toilet cubicles lead to detailed conversations about how people clean their behinds.

A Sandstorm is basically thick sandy fog. Not an actual storm, so you don't have to take everything in from the balcony.

Expect a consistent humidity-fro until you can get your hands on extensive/expensive hair products.

Sand. Damn sand everywhere. Funny, that.

If someone excessively flirts with you, don't take it personally when they do the same to fifteen other ladies in as many minutes. It's what they do, male and female.

"It's rude to stare" does not apply in Dubai.

Always be nice to passport control people.

Peanuts and Japanese Rice Crackers does not a well balanced diet make.

Rain is a lovely thing.

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